In last week’s blog, 7th July 2018, titled ‘The Sight and Sound of Running Water’, I outlined how in order to create space to reflect, the context in which such thought can occur, needs to be adequately prepared. It does not just happen. I gave a couple of personal examples that facilitate my preparedness. As a result, over the six decades plus of my life, I have learnt a few lessons that have stood me in good stead as I have travelled life’s rock-strewn journey.
Amongst those include as a young pre-teen child the realisation that there is always someone worse off than you. I think the first indication of such possibilities were triggered by the death of a school friend in an accident at a local building site that we used to play in as children. Knowing no fear or boundaries we regularly played in the building site-from memory I think it was called the Piggery. I have no idea why it was called this but assume it had a former connection to housing and rearing pigs. We should not have been playing there but as children, we did, and had great fun and excitement.
One day, my friend apparently was on the site and decided to sit in the caterpillar truck/bulldozer that was parked on the rubble as the piggery was being demolished. I do not think that any other child was around at the time. Somehow, he managed to get the machine started and it got out of control and crashed. He subsequently died as a result. It was the first death I was aware of in my life to that date. It was a great shock and sad. The incident taught me that however short life is, you have to make the most of it regardless, and my friend did. He was adventurous, fearless and fun. He died as he lived. I also learnt that I needed to take from this tragedy that my friend had died very young and that I was still alive. It could have been me, or any other of my friends who played at the piggery. So, live life fully as though each day may be your last. Take nothing for granted including any guarantee that you will be around tomorrow.
The use of time and developing whatever talents one has, was another life lesson I was privileged to learn from listening to certain teachers in my High School and later reflecting on it during my many walks to and from school by the river and through the woods, when I did not take the bus. Saving my bus fare for other things. I remember in my English class the head teacher of English was talking to the class about exam results. Grades were extremely important to me and I was rapt whilst listening. He was an elderly man and an excellent teacher and often dropped pearls of wisdom that you either recognised as such and picked up, or simply ignored as yet another episode of the teacher rambling on about nonsense, apparently totally unrelated to what the class subject for that day was supposed to be about. In fact, he was partly instrumental in helping prepare me for later life. What he was saying in his own inimitable way, was suggesting ways of approaching life to gain the maximum outcome.
In respect of time, he compared what you see when in a car and what you see when taking the same journey walking. As an avid walker then and now, I immediately recognised the point this wise man was making. In order to savour the sights and sounds, the smell, the feel of something, you need to devote time and undivided attention to it. Otherwise, you miss it.
In respect of developing talents, firstly you must recognise you have them. This simple fact emphasises the vital importance of carers and teachers. We are in a pivotal position to shape lives and instil the tools for developing self – esteem and self -development. Regardless of how ‘sure’ we think we are ‘good’ at something, we need, from time to time, a corroborative echo from someone whom we hold in high regard-and this is variable some need more of it than others.
Once talents are recognised, the work begins to develop them. This demands humility, patience, preparedness to work hard, the ability to listen, to think, to make mistakes and not be frightened to do so, to be courageous. Allowing yourself to wonder and be free of constraints. Freeing yourself from being compared to others by yourself. This is not a competition. It is yourself: developing self to be the best it can be. There is no greater satisfaction-another life lesson I learnt along the way.
In next week’s article I will continue on the theme of life lessons.